D&D session2: The Disney Strikes Back


Last time, we left our kobold fodder heroes with the news that an army is headed their way. With hardly a seconds delay, they bravely try to climb up trees. Coreliion manages to scamper up the nearest tree, as does Macrum. Lianee however has to take a couple of tries to climb successfully, because she’s a girl she has heavy amour.

Anyway, after making like leaves and hiding like cowards for a few minutes, the psuedodragon informs the party that this was all a ruse on his behalf… That is, he lied. Everyone has a jolly good laugh about this, except for Coreliion, Lianee and Macrum… The little wannabe dragon states that his intentions were good, and that he wishes to join our heroes. Coreliion is very reluctant, but it happens anyway because I said it would when I wrote it. The psuedodragon, now named Ralth’alan (or just Alan) is quite content to sit on Macrum’s non-axe filled shoulder, and swear at Coreliion in draconic, because ELVES HATE JOKES, OR SOMETHING!


Where the army was supposed to be, they found a frightening, epic level bridge, but it was broken. Seeing as it was the only way into the Doromiro kingdom (Also known as JapanLand), and that was where the party needed to be, they were stuck. Alan was called upon to scout out the area, and he finds a clearing with “Many two-legs” in. So they go there.


After walking with their feet, the see some guy with a big axe, huge muscles, a bald head and a glazed eye. Of course, he can’t be anything other than good, so they go with him to try and “convince” a cleric to heal him. The cleric is none other than *shocked face* the wandering cleric that healed the party after the fight with the kobolds. Anyway, dialoged between me and me takes place, which ended in the muscle guy, known as Banaz, being *shocked face squared* evil! Banananaz calls up his manly men, and attacks the party and the cleric. Only a few turns into the combat and DISASTER STRIKES! Lianee’s player (My sister, if you will) falls victim to a trap most foul. She leaves the table, and goes and watches Disney’s Aladdin… The rest of us sad faced for a bit, and get back to playing, becuase we don’t really care all that much.


So, the bandits bleed blood all over the place, and Badazz manages to hold out for quite a while, before going “Blargh” and dying. No one is hurt much, not even little Alan, who was handily forgotten about during the fight. The cleric, named Rilik, thanks the party, and joins up with them, saying that Barnarse was one bad dude, and that the party would probably get some money or something for doing him in. Sadly, they are miles away from any city, let alone one with some sort of Bounty Office, so they go and look in some caves. On the way, they savage the local wildlife, and are well rewarded. (Fact of the day: Random treasure means that spiders carry scrolls, okay?)


Dire rats also give Coreliion and Rilik the plague, or herpes or something, so the whole party chills out in a clearing for two days. In this time, kobolds appear again, and Alan and Coreliion finally get along, due to a hatred of said kobolds. Also, Lianee is once again under the control of her player, so that’s all good. And I got hit on the head with a dice, and made Macrum fall face first into a thorn because of it. Oh yeah, the whole party is LEVEL 2 NOW! Except for Rilik, who is super cool and manly and has nice hair and is a higher level anyway, so there.


Eventually, the party finds THE EVIL CAVE FULL OF TINY REPTILE THINGS! And Coreliion almost falls foul of a trap, and Macrum ends up in a hole for a good week or so, before managing to climb, even though he can reach the top of the pit without jumping . After that, the party charge forth, and almost end up surrounded by kobolds. The kobolds out numbered the adventures 5:1. As such, 20+ rounds of missing take place, and about half way through, the kobolds last half their amour, or something just as convenient.  Itwas long and everyone got bored, even the kobolds, as all they were doing was dying and then comming back from elsewhere, becuase there was so freakin’ many of them that I didn’t have enough markers for all of them. However, it ended with Rilik jumping 10 feet across a room and insta-killing the last kobold, which was nice. Even Alan the tiny pants-dragon managed to get a kill while Big Mac was being stabbed in the knees/crotch/toes/heels/lower face/kidney/bowls/shins/shoe/whatever. Party gained some stuff, and ends the session surrounded in kobold chunks, corpses and blood… Oh yeah, and the cave is still there too. I mean, seriously, its cave. It’s not going to go anywhere. Sheesh.

Pro Tip of the day: Always read the TV schedules, and try and plan the session around that. You never know when a player will want to go and watch something, even if they own it on video anyway.

Also, it was suggested that we (read as: I) keep track of each characters “total damage dealt”, “most damage in one attack” and “total kills”. So, that’s what this last bit is. Unfortunately, the quitter traitor candlestick maker Lianee’s player didn’t bother, so some of the results might be a little off… But I think that it’s ok, because I don’t care.


Macrum Sarding (Barbarian): 18 Kills, 19 Max damage, 241 Total damage

Coreliion Galanodel (Ranger): 17 Kills, 14 Max damage, 116 Total damage

Lianee Himo (Paladin): 8-ish Kills, 11 Max damage, 70-90 Max damage

Rilik Malshard (Cleric): Is too awesome for statistics

Ralth’Alan (Psuedodragon): 2 Kills, 4 Max damage, 10 Total damage


Thus ends chapter the second of THE ADVENTURES OF TYMN (Which, for the record is pronounced as Tim)


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